Lets share some tasty recipes!

Link to this post 11 Jun 14

I just came home and my very sweet man is preparing thesr chicken breast with mango salsa and sweet white Brazilian wine for us, rice with black beans and he's already preparing my Nicoise Sslad for me for tomorrow night , which he knows I love. Thing is, he's lefts in charge of taking the chicken out of the oven and I don't know how long to leave if in this heavely salsa, wine confection if his. Anyone offer some help ? I've got to get this wrapped up before his favorite show tonight....it's all about him him him!!!! ;). In MY book at least! I adore him.... Chicken help? These ain't your average chicken wings folks !

Nevermind ! Just done perfectly ! :)

Evidently we're taking to salsa wine sauce that the chicken cooked in and making some sort if Spanish Rice out of it. We're going roll this all up in a corn tortilla with black beans and this lovely chicken with lime. I'm lightly sauting the mushrooms for the Nicoise Salad, the green beans are seasoned and in the!frig.... And I'm not sure what the sweet potato is in the oven for, but I heard something about slicing it, molasses, etc etc? I love my chef guy, more than you can ever know. Or maybe you know it...

Someone made a salad dressing that is beyond!!!!

What the fuck are you doing, you stupid goddamn clueless crackwhore?! Did you not learn anything? Fucking bullshit like this belongs in your fucktard Arts Thread. Dumbshit.

Link to this post 12 Jun 14

And growing up in Alaska, like you did, that must translate into, "I can see Russia from my house."

Speaking of Alaskans, did you hear about Sara Palin's visit to NYC? She could see the Russian Tea Room from her hotel.

Link to this post 12 Jun 14

Butch Cassidy Wild West Salad

DRESSING:

1 cup Newman's Own Olive Oil and Vinegar Salad Dressing (or sub a favorite Italian)
1/4 cup red wine vinegar
3 tablespoons chipotle chiles in adobo sauce, chopped
Juice of 1 large lime (about 2 tablespoons)
1 tablespoon ground cumin
2 teaspoons salt

SALAD:

3 cans (15.5 to 19 ounces EACH) black beans, rinsed and drained
4 cans (15.5 to 16 ounces EACH) whole kernel corn, drained
3 cups cooked white rice
3/4 cup finely chopped red onion
1/2 cup finely chopped green onions, including tops
1/2 cup chopped fresh cilantro
2 cups coarsely chopped tomatoes

For Dressing, mix all dressing ingredients together well. Set aside.

For Salad, in a large bowl, mix together all salad ingredients, except tomatoes. Add dressing mixture to salad. Toss.

Let salad marinate in refrigerator at least 1 hour or up to 1 day.

Before serving, add chopped tomatoes. Garnish with fresh cilantro and lime wedges. Makes 6 main-dish or 12 accompaniment servings.

DELICIOUS!

Link to this post 15 Jun 14

This is a FANTASTIC recipe for crab cakes. How fantastic? I just had to make it again because by the time char had gotten out to the table, there was nothing left but crumbs,.... ( THough with her herd of dogs I disavow responsibility until PROVEN guilty!) LOL

Here goes...

First off you need crab meat. How much - no idea - cause I started with crabs, if your starting with meat Id say a pound or so? OK if starting with crabs.

Fire up the big turkey fryer pot outside, but with the seafood boiling basket in it, and filled with water not oil. Take the seafood boiling basket OUT, Bring the water to an almost boil and then Dump in a pouch of Zatarains crab boil, two lemons cut in half and squeezed, them tossed in for the hell of it, two limes - as with the lemons, a bottle or can of the cheapest shit beer you got, a head of garlic - just peel it them smash the cloves with a hammer or something (I used the butt of my knife) , two onions cut in quarters, a stalk of celery hacked into pieces an inch or two long and then smashed with the hammer or knife butt, a good handful full of salt, and one of those little "travel" bottles of Tabaco. Stir occasionally and then bring to a good rolling boil and keep boiling for maybe ten or fifteen minutes. Then get the crabs out of the cooler. Toss out any dead ones - only cook the living! Put in as many as will fit in the basket and then dunk them in the boiling water.... Once the water returns to a boil - hold them at a boil for 5 min or until they turn uniformly red. Dump them out on a newspaper covered picnic table and let them cool repeat until they are all cooked. Now you can sit there and pick them apart, saving the actual crab meat itself in Tupperware containers for later use. Take the shells, gills, remnanmts, newswpapers, brown kraft paper etc and run it all through the garden shredder and bury it under the rose bushes before it stinks like a motherfucker and drives you from your home. LOL Tip - before dumping the water from the pot, use it to boil other stuff, sausage, shrimp, whole crabs for eating, potatos, corn on the cob, mushrooms, onions whatever. Boil it and vacuum bag it for later or eat it now....

OK Now we get to the crab cakes. Remove the tub of crab meat prepared as above. That was kind of "rough cooking" this gets a little more precise here.

Ingredients
1 pound crab meat
1 egg
1 teaspoons Worcestershire sauce
1 teaspoon soy sauce
1 teaspoon old bay seasoning
1 tablespoon of mustard - I like the horseradish brown kind, but any brown or dijon works.
1 cup crumbs - you can use Italian bread crumbs but I prefer to use "cool ranch" Doritos and to smash them to crumbs. As funny as it is.... Ill take one of the snack packs, lay it on the table, and bang it with my beer bottle, then when the beer bottle is empty roll it.
1/4 cup mayonnaise
1/4 cup clam juice
1 teaspoon lemon juice
1 good splash of whatever white wine we happen to think sucks enough to cook with. (We usually keep a box of Franzia Red and a box of Franzia white on hand for cooking)
1 tablespoon of finely chopped chives
1 small can of mushroom pieces. (The ones you get at walmart for 21 cents)
a good shake of lemon pepper.

Now - Mix together everything EXCEPT the crab meat and the bread crumbs. You can use a bowl, but if your like me you just use a big ziplock bag and kind of shake and knead it together. Add crab meat and mix then add the crumbs and mix again.

Now here is why I use the ziplock... You can just cut a corner off with your knife, and extrude out appropriate sized glops to make cakes. Think a cake decorating bag, that you can just throw in the trash or in the fire and be done with as cleanup. (A lot of my cooking tends to be "outdoors / back yard / beach side / camping - adjust according for indoors) If you mixed in a bowl you need to use a spoon to do the same. Shape into cakes, and then sauté in a frying pan with a little oil for 5 minutes on each side until golden brown. You can also deep fry them in oil, use a griddle, - it depends what you have handy and where you are.

Serve with new potatoes and corn on the cob - ideally ones cooked in the crab boil water above, and asparagus drizzled with melted butter. If doing outside - you can heat all of the above in foil. Just stick appropriate portions in foil, throw in some butter, dust with herbs and seasonings to taste and toss in the pit. When done give everyone a pouch of foil with their side dishes. Goes well with a white wine or a cold beer. For desert - key lime pie in a graham cracker crust or banana pudding.

YUM!


Link to this post 28 Jun 14

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Too complicated and not worth the trouble
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BACON FILLED PANCAKES - No instructions necessary - 'Nuff said

Link to this post 29 Jun 14

HEY APRIL, FROM NOW ON, IF YOU'RE GOING TO STEAL RECIPES FROM TV CHEFS, BE SURE TO GIVE THEM CREDIT FOR THEIR RECIPES. THE SHITTY FAKE CUBANO RECIPE POSTED ABOVE IS FROM TYLER FLORENCE. (TSK TSK- WHAT WOULD R SAY, SINCE HE ALSO HAS A FAKE CUBANO RECIPE AVAILABLE?)

http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/tyler-florence/the-ultimate-cuban-sandwich-recipe.html

Link to this post 23 Aug 14

Jalapeno Poppers

If you have sensitive hands, wear surgical gloves. For my fellow gender, don't touch your junk before washing your hands. With that disclaimer, here is the recipe for twenty-four poppers.

1. Preheat oven to 400 degrees.

2. 12 medium size jalapenos halved. Remove the seeds and the white ribs. Set aside.

3. 2 bricks of cream cheese in a bowl. Add chilli powder and cumin to your taste. Mix until smooth.

4. Fry up 1 pound of diced bacon.

5. Stuff halved jalapenos with cheese mixture and assemble on a buttered cookie sheet. Bake for 15-20 minutes, depending on your elevation.

6. Remove poppers from oven and crumble cooked bacon over the top of each.

ENJOY!

Link to this post 23 Aug 14

If you have sensitive hands, wear surgical gloves. For my fellow gender, don't touch your junk before washing your hands. With that disclaimer, here is the recipe for twenty-four poppers.

I think that warning might be appropriate for both sexes. This would probably work with small peppers other than jalapeno as well, in case you don't fancy the burning aftermath. Frankly, the hotter the pepper, the better it is for you, for a number of health reasons -- arthritis pain and cognition. Cumin is good for you too.

I think I'm going to be able to start exercising and go onto my maintenance caloric allowance in about six weeks, and boy, am I going to try me some of those. With maybe some variations like parmesan cheese or French's canned fried onions on top.

Link to this post 23 Aug 14

I think that warning might be appropriate for both sexes

WTF?! My wife completely disagrees with that comment. Both genders are more inclined to rub their eyes. Women are not touching their junk, because they don't have any, unless they're sticking their fingers in places while peeing.

So...back to jalapeno poppers and recipes.

Link to this post 24 Aug 14

This would probably work with small peppers other than jalapeno as well, in case you don't fancy the burning aftermath.

FYI, if you correctly take the seeds and the ribs out of a jalapeno they are not hot. And there are numerous fire hot small peppers, so it is best to be knowledgeable about peppers before experimenting.

Link to this post 24 Aug 14

it is best to be knowledgeable about peppers before experimenting.

She is not kidding. I was served something by a friend called "Cornette's Chernobyl Chili" and it literally caused my asshole to swell shut. I couldn't shit for a week. Imagine having diarrhea that wont come out because the off ramp is closed. I thought it was going to eat its own way out. It ate holes in my underwear, and gave me rectal bleeding.... It was horrible. Beware of Lousianan's making Texas chili.... LOL

Link to this post 25 Aug 14

So the recipe as pictured, has mouthful-sized peppers. Bear in mind, I live in the frozen north, where jalapenos are not all that popular, and I have a difficult time getting Buns to buy even any sweet pepper other than the very cheap green ones, which are usually the size of my fist.

As for swallowing or chewing the wrong pepper, that happened to Buns in an order of General Tsao's Chicken, and it ruined the rest of the meal.

Assuming I would find a jalapeno pepper in the supermarket, what is the correct way to take the seeds out so as not to catch fire? It's true -- the combination of lactose intolerance and a hot pepper could be the Perfect Storm of toilet disasters.

Link to this post 25 Aug 14

...what is the correct way to take the seeds out so as not to catch fire?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hiu2-YZeIhI

I agree with the woman in the video about the level of heat she leaves behind. Living and being raised in the Southwest, I like to sweat when I eat so I leave some seeds and membrane in the jalapeno.

Link to this post 25 Aug 14

Yeah -- I understand the connection between 'hot' spices and peppers and perspiring. That's one of the reasons hot country cuisines are so damn spicy, whether it's Tex/Mex, Indian with all the curry and hot peppers, and Southeast Asian. It's useful in Wisconsin, too, because we can get hot and humid, and every extra drop of sweat helps.

I never quite developed that palate, but I learned about it on my first visit to New Mexico, where instead of ketchup on the restaurant burgers, they used hot pepper sauce. Whooeey!

A little heat is good, though, and you could leave a little bit of pith and a few seeds in there, even using a spoon. If you really wanted to get it all, a grapefruit spoon with one sharpish serrated edge would be ideal. Or you could toss a little of that in the filling, depending what you used.

I've always hated stuffed peppers with watery meat sauce in them, but this opened my eyes to a whole world of opportunities for stuffing peppers of any size. I'm not lactose intolerant, so it would involve a lot of different cheeses for flavor and some kind of crunchy topping. Not that I don't like bacon, but it's a pain to fry up and crumble.

Link to this post 29 Aug 14

NEW MEXICO CORN CASSEROLE

Preheat oven to 400 degrees

1 stick of butter of margarine
2 eggs beaten
1 can of whole kernel corn (I prefer white corn) drained
1 can of cream corn (once again, I prefer white)
1 8 oz. carton of sour cream
1 box of Jiffy brand corn muffin mix
1 4 oz. can of diced green chiles

Directions:

Melt butter and pour in to casserole dish. Beat and add eggs. Add drained whole kernel corn, the entire can of cream corn, sour cream and combine. Add mix and chiles; combine. Bake for at least 35 minutes, depending on your elevation. You can leave out the green chiles if that is more desirable to your taste.

Link to this post 29 Aug 14

SPINACH SALAD

1 bag of spinach
1 red onion diced (I only use half)
1 pound of fried and crumbled bacon (save the bacon grease for later)
1 pint of fresh mushrooms
1 can of bean sprouts ( you can find those in the Asian food section)
8 hard boiled eggs chopped.
Combine ingredients in a large bowl

Dressing:

1 cup of oil of your choice
1/3 cup of ketchup
3/4 cup of sugar
1/2 cup of vinegar
1 Tbsp. of bacon grease (now you know why you had to save it)
Whisk ingredients, but do not pour dressing over salad until just prior to serving.

Note: You can substitute low calorie Russian dressing for the dressing recipe provided since the provided recipe has an abundance of sugar.

Link to this post 30 Aug 14

That New Mexico Corn Casserole sounds really feasible -- mostly stuff you can have on hand in cans or boxes. It sounds delicious too.

I love spinach salad, and around here you can find pre-made spinach salad dressing if you hate frying up bacon like I do. Buns disapproves of bacon and somehow always forgets to purchase it, even when it's on the list and on sale.

Link to this post 06 Nov 14

Now that it's the fall season, it's time to start posting some fall Texas comfort food. So, with that being said, I'll start with this one.

KING RANCH CHICKEN CASSEROLE

3 large chicken breasts
1 can of cream of chicken soup
1 can of cream of mushroom soup
1/2 cup of sour cream
1 can of Rotel tomatoes with green chilies
1 can of chicken broth
2 tsp. of chili powder
1 tsp. of cumin
3/4 tsp. of black pepper
1/4 cup of fresh cilantro or 2 tsp. of dry cilantro
shredded cheddar/jack cheese
flour tortillas

Directions:

-Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
-Poach the chicken breasts.
-In a bowl, mix together sour cream and soups with a cup of cheese. Add the spices to the mixture.
-Open and drain the Rotel tomatoes and put in a separate bowl.
-After chicken is done poaching, dice it.
-Slice 10 tortillas into quarters and dice cilantro.
-Layer the ingredients like lasagna.
-Put a thin layer of the soup mixture on the bottom of a casserole dish, top with the quarter slices of tortillas, add chicken, rotel tomatoes and repeat the layers in the same order, keeping enough soup mixture to cover the final layer.
-Add enough chicken broth to reach just the top edges of the tortillas, but don't cover the top layer with it.
-Top with the cilantro, cover with foil and back for 30-45 minutes depending on your elevation.
-In the last 5-10 minutes of cooking time top with at least 1 cup of shredded cheddar/jack cheese.


NOTE: Ironically this recipe has no historical connection to the King Ranch, and I would know. This recipe is actually a Texas version of Chicken a la King, but some smartass figured such a fancy name for a meal wouldn't fly in Texas. Hence the result of King Ranch Chicken.

Link to this post 07 Nov 14

That sounds delicious, Red.

Here's what I'm eating for breakfast lately to lower my cholesterol and fend off dementia:

Randy's Powerhouse Oatmeal

1/2 cup of old-fashioned oatmeal, the kind that has to cook five minutes on a stove. It microwaves just fine and has more fiber.

1 Tbsp. raw flax seed

2 tsp sugar or some other sweetener

1 handful of dried cranberries, cherries, or blueberries

1 handful of walnuts

1 cup of water

Mix the dry ingredients together first then pour in the water and mix well. Microwave until it's done, which will vary by microwave. My idea is the 7.5 Beverage smart setting, and I have no idea how long or at what power. But it's about the equivalent of heating a cup of water to boiling.

Way cheaper to make than the packaged microwave 'heart smart' oatmeal you buy, and the dark dried fruits give it extra anti-oxidants. The walnuts are for extra Omega-3. I have no idea how many calories. I'm figuring 300-400 per serving, not that most of us care. I usually hate oatmeal, but I like this version.

Link to this post 30 Nov 14

MY TEXAS CHILI

1/2 pound of rattlesnake
1 pound of ground javelina
1 pound of ground wild hog
1 pound of ground proghorn
1 pound of ground venison
2 pounds of longhorn chopped
2 gallons of water
6 jalapenos chopped
7 ancho chili peppers chopped
3 poblano chili peppers chopped
8 Tbsp. of chili powder
2 Tbsp. of chipotle chili pepper
4 Tbsp. of cumin
1 Tbsp. of salt

Simmer for 6 hours, enjoy and then light your farts on fire the next morning.

Edited to add the dash of chupacabra. My bad.

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